Standing at the edge of the cliff looking into a spans of empty darkness. My consciousness lifts out of my body, the scene before me too traumatic to remain inside. I am alone, I am terrified, everything stands still, my body frozen to the spot. The ground rumbles and gives way, the cliff edge recedes. And with it, I find my body hurled through space, rolling and rolling into a never-ending free fall.
I have been working the Divine Feminine energies within. Churning up the Kali Ma volcanic fires of change and the shadowy aspect of the Great Mother transmuting my fear of being unworthy, unlovable. I have been aerobicizing my internal resources to love myself, to stay with the discomfort, to trust the Divine intent. I evoked the Goddess of Love for comfort, spontaneity and gentleness. These energies have alchemized a cocktail inside of me preparing me to let go and release fully into the unknown.
It does not matter why we find ourselves here. Maybe a situation at work turns ugly or with someone you love. Maybe someone betrayed you or humiliated you. You are challenged to realign, recalibrate what you thought was the situation. You have to make a decision, take action.
1. You are not alone
2. You are loved
3. Your growth is being supported by a Divine Consciousness
When faced with taking a step into the unknown either pushed by the ego or forced by circumstances, I have felt panic along the likes of a primal reptilian brain terror; a showdown between me, the lizard cornered in the dust, opposite a pack of hungry hyenas. My life will end.
Recently I am again facing the wall of darkness, void, the unknown.
Stepping off the cliff, yes, my life will end, but that is the point! To end the old life, the one that has not been working, the concepts of ourselves or the reality that has shifted. To allow for evolution, expansion, a new skin is revealed!
This time, while still nervous, frightened and uneasy, I know that what exists in that void is Mother’s cosmic dark womb. Rather than avoid the leap and sliding down the edge of the cliff clinging to the tiny grass blades ripping my fingernails at my refusal to fall, I am gently sticking a foot out.
I find my grief at saying goodbye to the known shore is still present, but rather than sure demise, I know Mother’s womb is healing, an expansive sanctuary of love and nurturance.
With tears of fear, loss and sorrow, I compassionately accept myself and my current condition, pale, withdrawn, uncertain.
I step forward, nudged from above to trust, to surrender. Not knowing why, how or when, I take baby steps forward, off the edge.
I find the void not to be empty, but to be a rich spongy enveloping silk swirl of burgundy, rose and lavender catching me in a gentle embrace each time I put weight on my foot forward. Sweeping my hip and caressing my cheek, this cosmic Mother-Void absorbs my tears with tenderness.
Trust, trust, trust the Divine to love you, to have your back, to know your worst secrets and to still love you! Risk loving yourself and continue to find out for yourself first hand, just how powerful Divine Love is.